May 223 min read

Conquering Fear, Crushing Goals - one day at a time.

Fear, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts have dominated me for a long time.

They have stolen the joy from things I once loved.

I used to step up into the saddle and feel invincible; unified with a powerful, sentient being and completely sure of who I am. Now, many times, I freeze, hesitant and teary-eyed, losing myself in "what if" and self doubt, catastrophizing every possibility into a worst-case scenario. I know this is not the only place in my life where fear slithers in like a multi-headed serpent and strikes with self-doubt, anger, sadness, anxiety, self-blame, helplessness, shame, and panic. This is compounded by being a professional equestrian. Imposter syndrome is real and, at times, I feel like a fraud and like I am doing a disservice to our clients by having to face this, let alone admit it.

This, however, is my reality and I hope in some way sharing this helps someone who struggles anything like I do to see that there is nothing wrong with them and that we can get through it.

I am committed to overcoming the fear, facing my insecurities, and silencing my self doubt. I may not conquer it in a day, or even a year, but I can get a step closer with every decision to try.

I have made tremendous progress in my battle with fear and imposter syndrome over the years, and, while I still have hard days, I also have also had so much success and joy since beginning this journey years ago.

Today, I want to share with you a few of the tools and techniques I have found to help me along the way in the hopes that it may help someone else struggling:

🔹Set goals.

Fear is focusing on what we perceive to be unavoidable failure.

Imposter syndrome is focusing on what we perceive to be unattainable goals.

The reality is we are really good at focusing on the WRONG goals! Imagine what you could accomplish if you believed in your dreams, your power, and yourself as much as you believe the lies rolling around in your head! What is your no limits, anything-is-possible dream? What would it take to get there? What one thing can you do different to take a step towards that goal? Share it with someone you trust and/or write it down.

🔹Start small.

Replace every negative "what if" thought with a positive one.

Want to run a 5k but never exercise consistently (me too 🙋🏻‍♀️)? Start walking a mile.

Want to gallop down the beach bareback? Start dropping your stirrups on your rides sometimes or walking around the arena bareback at the end of your ride.

🔹Don't do it alone.

Isolation is the devil's playground. I have cultivated relationships that will carry me through the hard times and celebrate my victories with me to keep me motivated. For me, Jesus, my church family at Granite Hills Baptist Church, and Celebrate Recovery have been instrumental in creating deep, meaningful connection to like-minded people who want healing and growth in their lives. Find professionals in your industry who will lead you and pull you up to their level. You need accountability to avoid stagnation.

🔹Set boundaries with others and yourself.

Build confidence in setting boundaries that will keep you safe but allow you to grow. You will never grow (in a good way) sitting on the couch all day, but you also won't grow jumping off a cliff without a parachute. Make sure you and the people you surround yourself with encourage your growth while respecting your boundaries.